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Privacy Policy
Eugenemirman.com has created this privacy statement in order to demonstrate our firm commitment to our visitors' and customers' privacy. The following discloses our information gathering and dissemination practices that apply to information collected on this website at www.eugenemirman.com.
I use personal information provided on order forms, such as a purchaser's name, email address, postal address, telephone number and credit card information, to make cash. I won't give your personal information away, but if someone, or more specifically, Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, calls and wants it, I will give it to him. If Steve is like, ³Hey, we're doing a surprise show at the Mercury Lounge, could you send an e-mail or post something on Friendster.² Sure Steve. Anything to help you walk your way. What else do I do with your information? Well, for starters I am building a database of fuckable people all around the globe that I plan to reveal the day the United States grants me the money for my underwater love base. There will be plenty of wine there, donıt worry.
I may contact you to be admitted into this base. It'll be a secure base, with your credit card information hidden in a little fridge by my giant oak desk. Why do I need a big underwater desk? For my Rhymes. I have a lot of rhymes, but sadly, they are in disarray. My plan is to get this base going and between drinking wine and making love, to put my rhymes together and maybe make an album. Iıll show you what I mean, right now the rhymes are terrible:
Bell bell tell
Ring a ding a dong
Bell bell tell
Dong a ding song
What the fuck is that about? I have no idea. Maybe a bell, I don't even know. See, it's awful. Now see how good it is from how I imagine I will write in my underwater base:
I got more rhymes
Than Ving Rhames
He's the new Kojak
Lollipop suckin'
Bullet duckin'
Very very super tough lovin'
Look at you like
³Who you fuckin'
With?²
He'll mess you up with his big black voice
Everyone respects him, because that's how the show is written.
Good luck with your new T.V. show Mr. Ving
See, that's terrible, but much better than the first one. At least it's obviously about Ving Rhames' new t.v. show. So, imagine how much better it will be in my underwater love base!
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